isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
