Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
