would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
