Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Did I show you my penis last night?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
