Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
