Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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