No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
