Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
