so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize