im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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