Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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