OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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