i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
