Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
