Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
