I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Randomize
