hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We were destined to go to rehab together
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
