what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize