I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i think i have herpe
just one?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
