moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
