i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
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I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
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Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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