is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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