okay pat passed out under dana's car
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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