Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
