Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
