3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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