it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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