yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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