Duck Duck Cougar?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have feelings that need drinking.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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