sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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