I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
please come you make the beer taste better
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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