did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
