Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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