she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
