I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I didn't notice because vodka
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
