So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
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despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
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Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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