I'd wear matching sweaters with you
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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