Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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