the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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