Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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