I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
