a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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