i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
