I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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