and i looked up. we had an audience...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
