your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
