Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
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i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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