i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
