the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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