So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
