I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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