Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
