Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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