I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
