Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm getting married
To pizza
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