so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
