no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
