i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
