I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
well you can't waste a boner
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
