i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
